( SpongeBob and Patrick laughing )
Whoa!
( laughing ) Whoa!
( laughing uncontrollably )
You're it.
( both laughing )
You're it.
Wait, Pat... you're it!
( screams )
The sign!
( laughter turns to fear )
"D... an... ger...
Cl... iff."
( thud )
Patrick!
Let me help you out of there, buddy.
( screams )
Is the rest of you down there?
The rest of me is up here.
Ooh, you had me worried there, buddy.
( laughs )
Here's your head.
( laughs obnoxiously )
I find all this laughter to be highly illogical.
Well, let's stop laughing and let's start fishing.
Go ahead, you get first crack.
Look at them... these graceful stoic creatures of the deep.
Huh? Those are some big words, Pat.
I've never heard you use them before.
Nonsense, my vocabulary is infinitely expanding.
Well, let's expand our jellyfish nets.
Come on, Patrick.
Look, buddy, I captured one.
Yes, I captured one as well
without disturbing its delicate ecosystem.
It is wrong to harness nature
in such a barbaric manner.
Okay.
What do you want to do?
Let us go off and admire
the beauty and fragility of nature.
Pretty.
Yes, quite.
Fragile.
Indeed.
Come on, Patrick, let's do something fun.
Oh, you want to run some statistics
or observe phenomenon
and render hypothesis of said phenomenon?
I was thinking more like jumping rope
or one-legged races,
or playing duck-duck- hermit crab.
Doesn't feel like fun.
How about some jokes.
( sighs )
Patrick, what's the difference
between a guitar and a jellyfish?
You can't strum a jellyfish.
Yes!
( laughs obnoxiously )
( strums beautiful chord )
Oh, my, look at the time.
I really must be going.
What's wrong with Patrick?
I sure hope he gets better soon.
Are you better, Pat?
Uh, what are you doing?
Just studying this amazing subspecies.
I'll show you subspecies.
Want to visit Squidward?
Since I am finished with my work,
I'll humor you in your trivial pursuits.
( playing off-key melody )
I'd recognize that piece anywhere:
Cornelius Pufferfish's Opus 67, "Symphony in Blue."
Patrick?
It's a beautiful piece.
Execution needs some work.
May I suggest that on the seventh bar
of the adagio andante that you add a little fortissimo
on the arpeggiated b-flat scale?
Wow, I never thought to do it like that.
Well, that is because you rarely think.
How do you know so much about music?
A creative outlet provides a spiritual release
and helps facilitate a healthy mental balance.
( inhales deeply )
Does that include ( belching ) belch talking?
Mr. SquarePants, I find your humor vulgar.
I had no idea you were so knowledgeable, Patrick.
Do you think you could be my musical mentor?
Uh, guys?
Let's take it from the top.
( squeaky notes )
Not so excellent, Squidward.
Let me demonstrate the proper technique.
On second thought, practice makes perfect.
Let's begin.
( playing nose )
Uh, thank you, my good chap.
Unfortunately this is a solo piece for clarinet only.
And one, two, three, four.
( Squidward playing clarinet off-key )
PATRICK: Stop! Enough! (door slamming)
Find yourself a new mentor!
Now that you have some free time,
let's get some grub.
No, SpongeBob, I'm afraid not.
Well, I have a brand new bottle of super bubbly bubble soap.
No, thanks again.
Maybe later we can play pirates.
Robert, my dear, it's no use.
We've just grown apart.
What? What do you mean?
I know we've had fun in the past,
but we're just not compatible anymore.
It's time we went our separate ways.
Such is life.
But Patrick, you're my best friend.
l know it's hard, but brace up, chap.
( sniffling ): Yeah.
Maybe our paths will cross again some day.
Think fondly of me, Mr. SquarePants.
Good-bye... Mr. Best Friend.
( sobbing )
( doorbell rings )
Sandy, you there?
I need some professional help.
( Sandy and Patrick laughing )
Patrick?
Well, Pat, the new you gets an "A" plus.
Why, thank you, Sandra.
l find your intellect rather stimulating as well.
SANDY: Oh, really? Thanks.
Patrick, what do you think about this problem?
You simply change the literal term to a coefficient
and the minuend will achieve the desired quotient.
Even the simplest of mammals could figure it out
with a little thought.
What do you mean by that, Patrick?
I'm merely suggesting
you lack the ability to solve remedial equations.
Are you suggesting I'm dumb?
I'd use a more sophisticated word like "impaired."
I think you'd better leave.
I was only trying to help.
I don't need your kind of help, Mr. Know-It-All.
l liked you better when you were a barnaclehead!
( sniffling ): I never thought I'd lose my best friend.
How can I compete with geniusness?
( crying )
Surrounded by knowledge,
and no one to share it with,
no one I can call friend.
Who's that old chap I used to run with?
SpongeBob.
At least Patrick's my friend in my memories.
Ah, the glory days.
Why have we grown apart?
I must apply all that I know to solve this problem.
What could it be?
What's different?
( screaming ): What?!
I'd do anything to have my old buddy back by my side again.
( banging on door )
SPONGEBOB ( sadly ): Coming.
Patrick... you're kidnapping me?
Yes, I am.
Yay!
What should we do?
We are going to have fun,
whatever the cost may be.
Let's do this.
Yes, let's have some fun.
Oh, yeah!
Oh, absolutely!
Are you quite sure I found this activity to be fun?
Yeah.
( screaming )
That was fun, huh, Patrick?
( mumbling )
( sighs )
When did the fun go away, SpongeBob?
It went away when you jumped off that cliff
and knocked your head clean off.
That's it. That's what?
What are you doing?
l'm going to duplicate my actions from that day
to ascertain the origin of my cha... an... nge!
( distant thud )
SPONGEBOB: Patrick!
Hold on, buddy.
There you go.
Don't worry, Patrick.
I found your head last time, l'll find it again.
Not back there, not under here.
What if I can't find it?
Oh, poor headless Patrick.
Patrick, your head is back.
But... uh... do you feel different?
Quite unchanged, actually.
I guess we'll never have fun together again.
You said you found my dislodged cranial cap last time.
Yes?
Where exactly did you find it?
Um... it was right here.
Hmm... impossible.
If I landed here, the trajectory of my dismembered skull
would cause it to come to rest not there...
but here, exactly five meters due north.
But if that's your head, then what did I pick up over...?
Brain coral.
No wonder you got so smart, buddy.
Here you go, Patrick, your old head.
Are you sure you want to give up
being smart and phosisticated
to be my friend again?
Knowledge can never replace friendship.
I prefer to be an idiot.
Not just an idiot, Patrick.
You're also my pal.
Patrick?
Say something, Patrick.
( belching ): Hi, SpongeBob.
Patrick, you're back.
( both laughing goofily )
( jellyfish war cry )
( laughing goofily )